Student Fear and Mass Legislative Inaction

Today my daughter called me from high school shaking with fear in her voice. "Mom, there was a school shooting threat today. The school's going on a lockdown and all my friends are being picked up by their parents. Can you come get me?" she inquired fearful of becoming another mass shooting victim. Begging her to slow down on the phone, I asked her to repeat the details as I quickly scanned social media for any breaking news. Unsuccessful, and desperate not to succumb to fear or inaccurate information without source verification, while sympathetic to my child's needs, I hung up the phone, assuring her I would verify details with the principal's office.

The principal's secretary confirmed a threat was received, unspecific to the high school. The threat was unsubstantiated, and likely a social media post gone viral. There would be no lock-down. Nevertheless, the administration assured me that police presence was escalated in the neighborhood and school, and campus security agents were visiting classrooms. I asked for a school-wide communication to calm heightened stress levels in students, which came out within minutes of hanging up the phone.  

Immediately I called my daughter back who remained trembling in fear as her friends vacated the premises as if it were on fire, picked up by their parents. "Can I go home with them Mom?" she frantically asked. "No, honey, I have talked to the administration and you are safe," I stated with feigned confidence. "You need to trust police security to do their jobs so you can do your job as a student." Regardless of my will to trust in the authorities, I remained skeptical of my decision. How can we live in daily fear, rather than living life? I reassured myself, replaying the safety measures I had discussed with my daughter in the event of a mass shooting, in my mind.

Standing firm as my daughter texted me fears and shared rumors in physics class, I continued to comfort her with words of confidence in the authorities and good humor for added sanity. As she described the numerous police who entered the high school while she ate lunch in the hallway with friends, I reassured her that I would feel increasingly safe surrounded by police. “Far better than Donald Trump running in with his bare hands,” I joked, recalling his own claim of school shooting response which elicited a chuckle from my 14-year-old daughter, the same age as the children who tragically lost their lives in Parkland Florida's recent school mass shooting.

I do not question the parents who picked up their children today at noon. God forbid I have to live with the burden of inaction, based on reassurances from school authorities, and tragedy should strike. I pictured the worst possible scenario today and my precious daughter's last image of her mother saying, "It will be ok honey, you are safe." The thought of regret and her abandonment brings tears to my eyes and I worry daily, parenting to the best of my abilities while protecting my children from harm. 

The irony is that our country cannot keep our children safe and they live in fear, attending school and doing their 'job' as students. I have begged for a decade for legislative action against assault weapons, writing countless letters to my senators and representatives (kris10downs.blogspot.com). Unfortunately, I've come to believe now that schools need metal detectors and locked security entries to dissuade mass shootings, as our children remain unsafe and politicians pander. It's equally tragic that my children live in fear at their own schools, lest they become statistics. I remember high school with positive memories.

As I contemplate my doubts, I've kept my phone by my side for my daughter's sake. We've been texting during physics. It's the best I can do to trust in the authorities while keeping her safe and not succumbing to fear. My daughter knows I'd be there a half-hour ago if her life depended on it! In the meantime, I have another letter to send to legislators and my own children to nurture. We will peacefully 'March for Our Lives' together on March 24th. Please join us!