Secret Sisterhood Spy Craft
There is a secret society to which I'm convinced moms of four children belong. We simply smile in understanding of our shared journey when we cross paths. Without a sister of my own, it warms my heart to feel accepted into this compassionate sisterhood without judgment, united knowing we are all somewhat crazy! The 'secret sisterhood spy craft' is tried and true and our circle is growing...
Reminiscent of CIA spy craft, we use simple code word exchanges in passing, as if validating an asset's bona fides. Appearing dumfounded one of us cautiously queries "You have four children?" Immediately recognizing the glimmer of hope in the other mother's weary eyes, she enthusiastically affirms, "Yes, but no one has four kids!" The exchange is complete and just like that, another mother is accepted into the secret sisterhood.
One such brief exchange happened last week while hanging with my children (#FFF) at Cannon Beach on the Oregon coast and I welcomed Anna into my growing circle. With a baby slung over her chest and another clinging to her leg, this stunningly kept woman approached me to apologize that her other toddlers had overtaken our deeply dug sand hole to China. As if I would judge...
On cue, she inquired, "You have four children?" I eagerly confirmed, "Yes, but no one has four kids." Giddy with delight, Anna exclaimed, "I have four kids!" Smiling, I was thankful and relieved to be on the downhill slope post-baby and toddler, as if a seasoned professional in motherhood. I assured her that it does get easier and I wasn't even drinking! Laughing she admitted that she arrived with her tribe of three other mothers so outnumbered, they somehow forgot the Rosé. Amateurs! We exchanged comical stories of judgment; such as the time a man in church asked me if I had figured out what was causing all my pregnancies (No sir, please explain). In the meantime my four children willingly abdicated their gigantic sand hole. Simply put, these mothers needed brief confinement for their children more than I, and given the enormity of the sand hole, these toddlers weren't likely to escape anytime soon! I left Anna with my social media contact information, just in case she needed a lifeline or simply to phone a 'sister' who understood.
I don't know why I'm always amazed by ease with which these other mothers of large families manage daily life, their physical beauty always in tact. After all, we wouldn't keep birthing these babies if we couldn't manage the chaos and love the crazy! One stunning friend Sarah has four children less than 10-years-old and is on my speed dial. I am confident Sarah is Wonder Woman, able to rescue me in a moment's notice, despite her professional and PTA volunteer duties. New to the neighborhood, Sarah instantly recognized me as sisterhood material the minute I rattled off my children's ages, hoping to receive credit for time served at our new elementary school! Needless to say, our subsequent spy craft introductions were duly exchanged.
Thankfully my circle has grown from coast to coast. I phoned a friend from the 'New Hampshire Secret Society' last week, encouraged that her pack of four is thriving, and eager to plan a reunion for our families now that we are merely in the mentally exhaustive phase of parenting.
I can attest that the spy craft is a true vetting process for mom's of four kids. Just yesterday a lovely mother picked her children up from my house following a play date. Never having met me before, she shockingly exclaimed, "You have four children?" I quickly assessed she was not in the secret sisterhood from her all too familiar tone that suggested 'who in their right mind has four kids'? Truly I get it, and don't blame her stupor as this crazy is over the top! With pride I smiled and assured her "What's a couple more? Your boys are welcome anytime!"
It is important for my children to see such positive exchanges in the throes of motherhood, such as my beach exchange with Anna, as they certainly don't remember the physical exhaustion they inflicted on me. It also reminds me, having endured a blur of life in my 30s, I have emerged a resilient woman, unbreakable by teenage will or childhood tantrums.
Keep the faith Anna, you've got this, and to all the other mothers contemplating a fourth, the secret sisterhood has your back!
Reminiscent of CIA spy craft, we use simple code word exchanges in passing, as if validating an asset's bona fides. Appearing dumfounded one of us cautiously queries "You have four children?" Immediately recognizing the glimmer of hope in the other mother's weary eyes, she enthusiastically affirms, "Yes, but no one has four kids!" The exchange is complete and just like that, another mother is accepted into the secret sisterhood.
One such brief exchange happened last week while hanging with my children (#FFF) at Cannon Beach on the Oregon coast and I welcomed Anna into my growing circle. With a baby slung over her chest and another clinging to her leg, this stunningly kept woman approached me to apologize that her other toddlers had overtaken our deeply dug sand hole to China. As if I would judge...
On cue, she inquired, "You have four children?" I eagerly confirmed, "Yes, but no one has four kids." Giddy with delight, Anna exclaimed, "I have four kids!" Smiling, I was thankful and relieved to be on the downhill slope post-baby and toddler, as if a seasoned professional in motherhood. I assured her that it does get easier and I wasn't even drinking! Laughing she admitted that she arrived with her tribe of three other mothers so outnumbered, they somehow forgot the Rosé. Amateurs! We exchanged comical stories of judgment; such as the time a man in church asked me if I had figured out what was causing all my pregnancies (No sir, please explain). In the meantime my four children willingly abdicated their gigantic sand hole. Simply put, these mothers needed brief confinement for their children more than I, and given the enormity of the sand hole, these toddlers weren't likely to escape anytime soon! I left Anna with my social media contact information, just in case she needed a lifeline or simply to phone a 'sister' who understood.
I don't know why I'm always amazed by ease with which these other mothers of large families manage daily life, their physical beauty always in tact. After all, we wouldn't keep birthing these babies if we couldn't manage the chaos and love the crazy! One stunning friend Sarah has four children less than 10-years-old and is on my speed dial. I am confident Sarah is Wonder Woman, able to rescue me in a moment's notice, despite her professional and PTA volunteer duties. New to the neighborhood, Sarah instantly recognized me as sisterhood material the minute I rattled off my children's ages, hoping to receive credit for time served at our new elementary school! Needless to say, our subsequent spy craft introductions were duly exchanged.
Thankfully my circle has grown from coast to coast. I phoned a friend from the 'New Hampshire Secret Society' last week, encouraged that her pack of four is thriving, and eager to plan a reunion for our families now that we are merely in the mentally exhaustive phase of parenting.
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| (Example: Over the top crazy!) |
It is important for my children to see such positive exchanges in the throes of motherhood, such as my beach exchange with Anna, as they certainly don't remember the physical exhaustion they inflicted on me. It also reminds me, having endured a blur of life in my 30s, I have emerged a resilient woman, unbreakable by teenage will or childhood tantrums.
Keep the faith Anna, you've got this, and to all the other mothers contemplating a fourth, the secret sisterhood has your back!
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