Green Slime of Life
Be careful or the negative will consume you, I thought to myself summoning the energy to raise much-needed positive endorphins on a morning run. The 24-hour news cycle, global temps rising, and Customer Care Representatives who suck me bone dry will require a longer run this morning to combat the negative slime oozing in our country and polluting my mind.
Keep America Great! The irony when 'customer care' reps deny, deny, deny or someone from India answers. Aetna health insurance is the bane of my existence after seven phone calls, each a minimum hour-long blood boiling conversation having diminishing returns on my mental health (which is also likely not covered). And what happened to common courtesy? Last night a lady refused to zipper merge me onto I-5 south, throwing up her hands in anger, as if it made her a better driver! I gave her thumbs up instead. Then there's the mid-century modern sofa we purchased supporting a boutique local business thinking it would be grand to have an 'adult-like' piece of furniture. Less than a year later, the flippin' couch squeaks like a mouse heckling the price we paid for luxury, meanwhile the boutique shop, with its thrift store customer service response, still has me on hold. And just this morning I learned the Dick's Sporting Goods baseball bat 'No Sweat Return Policy' wreaks like my son's sweaty baseball socks.
Wanna guess the 'customer care' I've received in the last week? Zip, Zilch, Zero! I preach to my kids, never give up, but I ain't seeing greenbacks. The layer of customer service BS in our country and stagnant angry people is akin to green slime consuming a crystal clear lake on a summer day which is precisely why I escaped this morning leaving a trail of notes behind for my four children. "Why do I have to put away the dishes, water the garden, fold the laundry, practice piano, yada yada yada..." Lately the ratio of whine to wine in my household leaves me plotting early retirement in the south of France, if I could only recoup what's frickin' owed to me in warranty and insurance policies! I quickly ran away to positive endorphins, fueling my confidence and sorting my cluttered head allowing for creativity and energy for adulting.
I chose to escape amidst the mighty forest trees this morning, their wisdom greater than mine. An intoxicating fragrance of pine and honeysuckle gave me pause as I inhaled and my feet beat the earth floor. Rounding the bend of the rocky trail, I saw a glimmer of light flickering on the pond in the swampy nature preserve as I crossed the wooden footbridge. A thick green slime surrounded by life in the city stopped me cold in my tracks, saving the banana slug with the 'can-do' attitude crossing my path. Ducks and ducklings with tails in the air dove deep amidst the insects buzzing on top of the green algae. I observed one-legged cranes in yoga poses on logs and birds swooning in and out chirping a singsong melody. Serenity now.
As I exhaled a mother duckling looked at me as if to say "Hey lady, there is life in green slime more breathtaking than your trail run!" Believe me, it was 'Disney-esque' and I could almost see unicorns, rainbows and butterflies, my feet carrying me faster than Aladdin's magic carpet. I assure you I was not hallucinating, though exercise my natural high. There's a reason I had four children and it's not thanks to vacations in Cancun! This was a chance to pay my blessings forward with the next generation to combat climate change and promote civil rights. My children are my chance to change the toxicity in the world. The circle of life begins with me. Today.
In my head I formulate ingenious plans running in solitude; sometimes I just need a reboot. Refreshed and re-energized, I bounded through the front door announcing it was Mom's choice of Forced Family Fun (#FFF).
There is hope for our future! My children completed their responsibilities with whine out of earshot today and even showered. We released our Painted Lady butterflies, giving them new life in this harsh world and biked to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, which I affectionately refer to as 'Momsi') for virtual reality and science experiments because I had green slime on the brain. Honestly, green slime ain't so bad anymore! Smiles all around 'Merica.
Keep America Great! The irony when 'customer care' reps deny, deny, deny or someone from India answers. Aetna health insurance is the bane of my existence after seven phone calls, each a minimum hour-long blood boiling conversation having diminishing returns on my mental health (which is also likely not covered). And what happened to common courtesy? Last night a lady refused to zipper merge me onto I-5 south, throwing up her hands in anger, as if it made her a better driver! I gave her thumbs up instead. Then there's the mid-century modern sofa we purchased supporting a boutique local business thinking it would be grand to have an 'adult-like' piece of furniture. Less than a year later, the flippin' couch squeaks like a mouse heckling the price we paid for luxury, meanwhile the boutique shop, with its thrift store customer service response, still has me on hold. And just this morning I learned the Dick's Sporting Goods baseball bat 'No Sweat Return Policy' wreaks like my son's sweaty baseball socks.
Wanna guess the 'customer care' I've received in the last week? Zip, Zilch, Zero! I preach to my kids, never give up, but I ain't seeing greenbacks. The layer of customer service BS in our country and stagnant angry people is akin to green slime consuming a crystal clear lake on a summer day which is precisely why I escaped this morning leaving a trail of notes behind for my four children. "Why do I have to put away the dishes, water the garden, fold the laundry, practice piano, yada yada yada..." Lately the ratio of whine to wine in my household leaves me plotting early retirement in the south of France, if I could only recoup what's frickin' owed to me in warranty and insurance policies! I quickly ran away to positive endorphins, fueling my confidence and sorting my cluttered head allowing for creativity and energy for adulting.
I chose to escape amidst the mighty forest trees this morning, their wisdom greater than mine. An intoxicating fragrance of pine and honeysuckle gave me pause as I inhaled and my feet beat the earth floor. Rounding the bend of the rocky trail, I saw a glimmer of light flickering on the pond in the swampy nature preserve as I crossed the wooden footbridge. A thick green slime surrounded by life in the city stopped me cold in my tracks, saving the banana slug with the 'can-do' attitude crossing my path. Ducks and ducklings with tails in the air dove deep amidst the insects buzzing on top of the green algae. I observed one-legged cranes in yoga poses on logs and birds swooning in and out chirping a singsong melody. Serenity now.
In my head I formulate ingenious plans running in solitude; sometimes I just need a reboot. Refreshed and re-energized, I bounded through the front door announcing it was Mom's choice of Forced Family Fun (#FFF).
There is hope for our future! My children completed their responsibilities with whine out of earshot today and even showered. We released our Painted Lady butterflies, giving them new life in this harsh world and biked to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, which I affectionately refer to as 'Momsi') for virtual reality and science experiments because I had green slime on the brain. Honestly, green slime ain't so bad anymore! Smiles all around 'Merica.
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