Adventures In Motherhood

I've been shaking my head a lot lately over angry drivers while wondering how my pristine driving record could upset so many Portlandians. In a progressive city where it's the law to stop for pedestrians, I'm shocked by the vulgarity I face on a daily basis as chauffeur-mom to four children. In the past month I've faced humanity and determined we need to save the planet, one less car at a time... "Mom, he's looking back at us and he's giving you the middle finger," my daughter laughed on our way to drop her at the airport two weeks ago.  "It's not me, it's got to be for someone else," I said, stopping behind the man with the erect middle finger sitting in the old sedan at the intersection.  Green light. Go! Sure enough, the dude turned left, abruptly merging into the right lane and slowing down to pull alongside me. Yep, she was right, he was clearly making sure both my teen daughter and I saw him flip me the bird, rath...

It's easy for our children to be involuntarily subjected to a world full of hate nowadays.  Impatient drivers flip 'the bird' and yell obscenities at me as they dangerously zoom past my carload of children.  A gridlocked lady sarcastically claps from the safety of her vehicle as my friend kindheartedly moves a garbage can blocking traffic, in plain view of her puzzled daughter.  Protests and counter-protests in anger block our streets as my family bikes downtown.  The 24-hour sensational news is not easily consumable by children.  Sometimes I cannot help but visualize pink slime boiling in our sewers fueled by hatred and anger akin to New York City in Ghostbusters II! As a mother with clandestine experience, I recently reached my internal boiling point and decided to make it our charge to spread love throughout the day, albeit in disguise.  Boys, I smiled, "I mustache you to spread some love today!"  My son and his buddy enthusiastically accepted t...