Adventures In Motherhood

We pressed delete on endless scrolling this summer and now the Surgeon General has our back.  Instagram, Tik Tok, Reddit, YouTube, endlessly scrolling, his head hunched over staring at his Iphone screen, this was not the 'epic' summer I wanted for my 17-year-old son! Having purchased his own Iphone for his 13th birthday during the pandemic, our son was addicted to the dopamine hits his technology promised without fail.  As parents, we had tried to ' wait til 8th ' with our third child as we had our older two, though the pandemic lockdown just before his April birthday softened our stance. We hoped the Iphone would provide a virtual social media lifeline to his friends that his Tracfone flip phone couldn't replicate. Fast forward four years and we had a cell phone junkie with a Pavlovian response when his Iphone lit up.  Averaging 200+ pickups a day, it pained me to see my son reach into his pocket for his Iphone, at the risk of boredom, walking from the car to the b...

"We are the only kids that don't have smartphones at school!” insisted my four children when we moved to Oregon two years ago. Even my 1st grade son had children in his class with the latest and greatest smartphones at that time. I recall a similar conversation from my own childhood revolving around getting a corded telephone for my bedroom. New technology, even greater challenges; flipping awesome! Having moved halfway across the country at the start of my daughter's 8th grade year in middle school, we were keenly aware of her need to build social relationships ASAP. When she named every known child her age with a smart phone, we quickly realized that she was quite possibly the only 8th grade student in Oregon and Colorado without one. Having experienced traumatic family moves during my formative teen years, my daughter knew I was an easy sell, and my three younger sons began their campaign as well. Fortunately as parents, we had Bill Gates on our side. How can childr...

I'm so f'ing tired (pardon my French)! Parenting is exhausting and let's be real with the issues. I'm tired of waking at 2 am f'ing hot. Not as in sultry sexy, but sweaty and awake to the world. This mid-life crisis is maddening as my husband is content in layers of covers and I feel his heat radiating from the other side of the bed. Blackout curtains pulled dark, I have no choice but to crank the a/c to polar ice cap temperatures, capable of freezing my son's urine mid-stream as he races to the bathroom at 6 am in the morning. I'm tired of waking up tired at 6 am when I hear the crystallization of my son's fire hose stream, my neck in shear agony. Pillows are my nemesis and as soon as I befriend one, she turns on me faster than my teenagers' hormones, angering my neck and what I refer to as 'mom pain', a chronic neck and shoulder spasm sure to be relieved when the children move out of the house. This is not to be confused with the 'm...

Last week my husband and I spent a blissful week in Cancun for our 23rd wedding anniversary. It was time we prioritized our marriage and ourselves, besides our children needed a break from us as much as we needed time away from them! A true blessing to experience, we relished the time together at an adults-only all-inclusive resort, never discussing nor missing our children who were experiencing an all-inclusive 'stay-cation' with relatives. Quite frankly, I didn't want to see children, hear children or smell children our entire celebration and we laughed at the couples who phoned their children from the beach. Needless to say, a week following our return, full-on into the final week of school projects, 5th grade continuation, marching band parades, baseball games, and 2nd grade stomach flu, I scarcely recall the ocean waves lapping the shore or the peace I felt reading three novels without agenda. Today I sit here, kids momentarily out of school, as panic ensues and summer...

Parenting is a mixed bag of emotions requiring a thick skin. My husband and I must stay strong, rather than succumb to the pressure presented by our seemingly 'less fortunate children'. I am reminded of our children's inequities in relation to their peers on a daily basis. It seems we cannot keep up with the Joneses! "Everyone in 5th grade has a iPhone mom, but me!" exclaims my 11-year-old son. His 13-year-old brother with a flip-phone decidedly nods in agreement, chiming in "and you are the only parents who don't let us game all the time like my friends do!" "How come I'm the only one who has to buy her own cellphone?" shouts my 15-year-old daughter in frustration. "Why can't I have a laser tag ninja warrior party this year?" my 7-year-old inquires, keeping up with his siblings' attempts to wear us into submission. "Why do we have to do dishes and garbage?" they complain daily as we attempt to ease o...