Adventures In Motherhood

"We are the only kids that don't have smartphones at school!” insisted my four children when we moved to Oregon two years ago. Even my 1st grade son had children in his class with the latest and greatest smartphones at that time. I recall a similar conversation from my own childhood revolving around getting a corded telephone for my bedroom. New technology, even greater challenges; flipping awesome! Having moved halfway across the country at the start of my daughter's 8th grade year in middle school, we were keenly aware of her need to build social relationships ASAP. When she named every known child her age with a smart phone, we quickly realized that she was quite possibly the only 8th grade student in Oregon and Colorado without one. Having experienced traumatic family moves during my formative teen years, my daughter knew I was an easy sell, and my three younger sons began their campaign as well. Fortunately as parents, we had Bill Gates on our side. How can childr...

I'm so f'ing tired (pardon my French)! Parenting is exhausting and let's be real with the issues. I'm tired of waking at 2 am f'ing hot. Not as in sultry sexy, but sweaty and awake to the world. This mid-life crisis is maddening as my husband is content in layers of covers and I feel his heat radiating from the other side of the bed. Blackout curtains pulled dark, I have no choice but to crank the a/c to polar ice cap temperatures, capable of freezing my son's urine mid-stream as he races to the bathroom at 6 am in the morning. I'm tired of waking up tired at 6 am when I hear the crystallization of my son's fire hose stream, my neck in shear agony. Pillows are my nemesis and as soon as I befriend one, she turns on me faster than my teenagers' hormones, angering my neck and what I refer to as 'mom pain', a chronic neck and shoulder spasm sure to be relieved when the children move out of the house. This is not to be confused with the 'm...

"We are the only kids that don't have smartphones at school!” insist my four children.  Even my 2nd grade son has children in his class with the latest and greatest smartphones.  I recall this conversation from my own childhood and it somehow revolved around getting a corded telephone for my bedroom.  New technology, even greater challenges... Having moved halfway across the country at the start of my daughter's 8th grade year in middle school, we were keenly aware of her need to build social relationships a.s.a.p.  When our daughter named every known child her age with a smart phone, we quickly realized that she was quite possibly the only 8th grade student in Oregon and Colorado without a smartphone.  Having experienced traumatic family moves during my formative teen years, my daughter knew I was an easy sell, and my three younger sons began their campaign as well.  Fortunately as parents, we have Bill Gates on our side.  How can children argue ...