Adventures In Motherhood

This is a shitty story. Honestly, from my son who woke up sick, to my daughter who left her shit everywhere, to the dog who shit in my car. Either way it stinks to high heaven! I'm effing tired of reminding my sixteen-year-old daughter to pick up her shit. We simply don't have the square footage divided by six people and two dogs to allow for any one person to occupy the entire house with their belongings. I hurdle her shit on the stairs to the basement, on my way to the kitchen, and out the front door. You'd think I'd be in tiptop athletic shape! Unfortunately I stubbed my toe on a chair tripping over her Vans, Nikes and Blundstone shoes to lock the front door before bed last night. Hobbling my way to the kitchen to shut off the lights and grab my cup of freshly microwaved Sleepytime tea, I couldn't help but notice my computer still sitting unplugged on the dining room table. "Yeah, mom," I distinctly remember my daughter saying as she ‘Vlogged’ her f...

Mentally preparing for my oldest driving alone behind the wheel by the end of the month, I can't help but shake my head at the blur of 16 years gone by. Sweet 16? As I pound this pack of gummy bears, a sick vice to withhold my tears and cope with my son's 12th birthday party tonight, I can't help but think how did we get here? Obviously, with piss poor prior planning! (Who in their right mind has two outta four kids' birthdays within four days of each other?) Luckily, I'm only pounding gummy bears and we've been graced with a bit of good luck! I'll admit I had my doubts the first few years of my daughter's life with her choices from sandboxes to scissors but fortunately she's proven National Honor Society material, which is more than I can say for myself! I'd be remiss if I didn't share a few journal gems along the way. January 2005 I need a frickin' nap. One month to go and I'll be popping out baby #2 (20 hours faster than the ...