Bottoms Up, Baby. Cheers! And Other Things I Said to My Husband Pre-Colonoscopy
The anticipation has been killing me. My husband's been oversharing all summer. First, the appointment was scheduled in June. Then it was abruptly moved to August. Then, just this week, I spotted it on the wall calendar. As if he'd forget! It's been the subject of dinner table conversations all month. The dreaded colonoscopy. You'd think my husband was preparing to give birth. To triplets. Which is exactly why men do not birth children. Quite frankly, if that were the case, we'd only have one daughter. If he actually went through with the labor. "I don't think you should schedule anything all weekend," he said, as I penciled in a brewery date with friends this Saturday. "I'll still be recovering." "Are you serious?" I couldn't tell if he was joking. "Bruh, it's a 5-minute nap—the best nap you'll ever have—and you'll be biking to work that afternoon." He winced. Honest to God, pain seared into his ...