It's Flipping Awesome!
"We are the only kids that don't have smartphones at school!” insist my four children. Even my 2nd grade son has children in his class with the latest and greatest smartphones. I recall this conversation from my own childhood and it somehow revolved around getting a corded telephone for my bedroom. New technology, even greater challenges...
Having moved halfway across the country at the start of my daughter's 8th grade year in middle school, we were keenly aware of her need to build social relationships a.s.a.p. When our daughter named every known child her age with a smart phone, we quickly realized that she was quite possibly the only 8th grade student in Oregon and Colorado without a smartphone. Having experienced traumatic family moves during my formative teen years, my daughter knew I was an easy sell, and my three younger sons began their campaign as well.
Fortunately as parents, we have Bill Gates on our side. How can children argue with a technology founder/billionaire who put off allowing his children smartphones until the age of 14? Needless to say, we caved one week prior to the 2016 school year, allowing our 13-year-old daughter to purchase her own smartphone, at her expense, for the sole purpose of social connections.
Good news, we have emerged savvy parents this year...and it's flipping awesome! It occurred to me as my daughter headed off to high school this fall and my 12-year-old son was seemingly excluded from social activities without a home phone or texting capabilities in middle school, that the solution has been apparent for 20+ years. The nineties called and this mom answered! With technology needs to exclude gaming; I fondly remembered my decades old flip phone. With all the bells and whistles needed, the Tracfone was a godsend to this 'retro' mom.
Owning a smartphone as a teenager poses great challenges as we quickly discovered last year. Teenage girls place great value on the number of 'likes' they acquire from Instagram and Facebook (although Facebook is parents' social media, right?), the number of Snapchat streaks they have attained, and feel equally rejected when friends post group pictures without them. This led to increased teenage insecurity that we were unprepared to counsel as parents from a generation who didn't have a 'real-time' clue of events. Additionally, we've encountered cyber bullying among peers, who rapidly text their unfiltered feelings as fast as teenagers slam the door. Teenage girls are learning to text quick responses that can easily be misconstrued, rather than talking face to face. Teenage boys, have equally great challenges as gaming easily absorbs them and their peers thanks to clear, consistent rules, a goal, immediate feedback, increasing stakes, and challenges that can be voluntarily chosen. Gaming is not as attractive on a flip phone that expends valuable prepaid minutes.
Do we regret our choice for our daughter? In the age of unfiltered Internet access, sexting, cyber bullying and peer pressure, it's important to embrace technology in moderation. However, our family has reassessed its smartphone strategy along the lines of Bill Gates', allowing our children to earn trust along the way. Healthy boundaries, respect and conversations about safety are key. We limit screen time to one hour on weekends, except for schoolwork, opting for outdoor activities. My daughter's smart phone is plugged in our kitchen by 8pm, and all technology, to include parents', is used on the main level of our house where it can be observed. Family rules can readily be devised from the copious amounts of screen-time research available.
As I demonstrated how awesomely cool it was to hit the number five, three times, to choose a letter to create a text, my 12-year-old son's eyes widened. "Cool mom, and it even takes pictures and has an alarm I can set for reminders!” the technology whiz kid exclaimed. Not only does the Tracfone open his social calendar, it grants him a certain amount of 'safety', the reason behind most cellphone purchases for children, allowing my son responsibility for managing his minutes which limit his browsing time. The best part is that he appreciates any access to technology and another smartphone purchase can be delayed until at least high school!
Walking to school the next day with flip phone in hand, I mentioned to my son that he could easily blame his 'old school' parents for his new retro phone. I chuckled, “simply tell them that your mom said because it doubles as our home phone, there's no flipping way she’s allowing your two little brothers access to a smartphone!" My son smiled and disclosed "mom, they already know all about you because I'm the only kid who can't game all the time." I smiled and virtually patted myself on the back. Needless to say, by the end of the first day at school, my son had an address book full of contacts, took a picture of the dog, and set his alarm to arrive at piano lessons on time.
Ergo, my 10-year-old has already commenced his campaign for a Tracfone..."Perhaps if you demonstrate responsibility and good grades in school through 6th grade we'll consider as we did for your brother," I encouraged him with a smile.
Ironically the new iPhoneX was released today...it's only matter of time before I hear that we are the only family who doesn't own one! Flipping awesome.
www.good.is/articles/bill-gates-cellphones-kids
Having moved halfway across the country at the start of my daughter's 8th grade year in middle school, we were keenly aware of her need to build social relationships a.s.a.p. When our daughter named every known child her age with a smart phone, we quickly realized that she was quite possibly the only 8th grade student in Oregon and Colorado without a smartphone. Having experienced traumatic family moves during my formative teen years, my daughter knew I was an easy sell, and my three younger sons began their campaign as well.
Fortunately as parents, we have Bill Gates on our side. How can children argue with a technology founder/billionaire who put off allowing his children smartphones until the age of 14? Needless to say, we caved one week prior to the 2016 school year, allowing our 13-year-old daughter to purchase her own smartphone, at her expense, for the sole purpose of social connections.
Good news, we have emerged savvy parents this year...and it's flipping awesome! It occurred to me as my daughter headed off to high school this fall and my 12-year-old son was seemingly excluded from social activities without a home phone or texting capabilities in middle school, that the solution has been apparent for 20+ years. The nineties called and this mom answered! With technology needs to exclude gaming; I fondly remembered my decades old flip phone. With all the bells and whistles needed, the Tracfone was a godsend to this 'retro' mom.
Owning a smartphone as a teenager poses great challenges as we quickly discovered last year. Teenage girls place great value on the number of 'likes' they acquire from Instagram and Facebook (although Facebook is parents' social media, right?), the number of Snapchat streaks they have attained, and feel equally rejected when friends post group pictures without them. This led to increased teenage insecurity that we were unprepared to counsel as parents from a generation who didn't have a 'real-time' clue of events. Additionally, we've encountered cyber bullying among peers, who rapidly text their unfiltered feelings as fast as teenagers slam the door. Teenage girls are learning to text quick responses that can easily be misconstrued, rather than talking face to face. Teenage boys, have equally great challenges as gaming easily absorbs them and their peers thanks to clear, consistent rules, a goal, immediate feedback, increasing stakes, and challenges that can be voluntarily chosen. Gaming is not as attractive on a flip phone that expends valuable prepaid minutes.
Do we regret our choice for our daughter? In the age of unfiltered Internet access, sexting, cyber bullying and peer pressure, it's important to embrace technology in moderation. However, our family has reassessed its smartphone strategy along the lines of Bill Gates', allowing our children to earn trust along the way. Healthy boundaries, respect and conversations about safety are key. We limit screen time to one hour on weekends, except for schoolwork, opting for outdoor activities. My daughter's smart phone is plugged in our kitchen by 8pm, and all technology, to include parents', is used on the main level of our house where it can be observed. Family rules can readily be devised from the copious amounts of screen-time research available.
As I demonstrated how awesomely cool it was to hit the number five, three times, to choose a letter to create a text, my 12-year-old son's eyes widened. "Cool mom, and it even takes pictures and has an alarm I can set for reminders!” the technology whiz kid exclaimed. Not only does the Tracfone open his social calendar, it grants him a certain amount of 'safety', the reason behind most cellphone purchases for children, allowing my son responsibility for managing his minutes which limit his browsing time. The best part is that he appreciates any access to technology and another smartphone purchase can be delayed until at least high school!
Walking to school the next day with flip phone in hand, I mentioned to my son that he could easily blame his 'old school' parents for his new retro phone. I chuckled, “simply tell them that your mom said because it doubles as our home phone, there's no flipping way she’s allowing your two little brothers access to a smartphone!" My son smiled and disclosed "mom, they already know all about you because I'm the only kid who can't game all the time." I smiled and virtually patted myself on the back. Needless to say, by the end of the first day at school, my son had an address book full of contacts, took a picture of the dog, and set his alarm to arrive at piano lessons on time.
Ergo, my 10-year-old has already commenced his campaign for a Tracfone..."Perhaps if you demonstrate responsibility and good grades in school through 6th grade we'll consider as we did for your brother," I encouraged him with a smile.
Ironically the new iPhoneX was released today...it's only matter of time before I hear that we are the only family who doesn't own one! Flipping awesome.
www.good.is/articles/bill-gates-cellphones-kids
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