The Dead Drop
Why are mom's always required to think quick before their morning Cup of Joe? Today was no different than any other day of hectic school departures, yet barely into my morning coffee and news, my ten-year-old caught me off guard with his toothless grin. 'Oh s*&%!', I thought to myself. No one loaded the 'dead drop' and the tooth fairy's cover is surely blown this time thanks to a parenting fail!
Sauntering into the kitchen after his three siblings had already departed for school, my ten-year-old asked me to guess what happened to him. Last night I attended a school meeting leaving my playful husband (a.k.a. my 5th child) tasked with the evening routine, which undoubtedly dissolved into WWE wrestling and horseplay among the boys past their normal bedtime hour. Out of sight, out of mind, is my mantra, thrilled to escape the chaos with purposeful return at least an hour past 'lights out'. Responding to my wise-guy son, my mind assumed the worst outcome and possible injury last night, however, I kept my guesses humorous. "You went to the moon?" I chuckled. He shook his head no. "You won the awesomeness contest at school?" I continued amidst his laughter and dabbing. "No mom, I lost my tooth," he said, pointing to the gaping hole in the bottom of his jaw. Dumbfounded my husband forgot to inform me of this significantly important detail, I clamored for the best response that would not raise skepticism, preserving the Tooth Fairy's operational security and lack of dead drop. I love motherhood, but apparently I cannot take a night off without pandemonium!
I always say my role as Mom is essential to my children and nothing can ever happen to me. Setting aside the lack of schedule and nutrition that would ensue if I up and ran away, my loving husband surely forgetting to feed the children anything but candy, childhood traditions would also cease to exist. It seems that yours truly is responsible for maintaining belief in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy!
"Wow, that's something!" I replied in shock. "Where's your tooth?" I probed, buying time to think. "Oh, it's under my pillow." Great, I thought, cursing my husband in my head, the fairy always gathers those cute little souvenirs. "Did Mayzie eat the Tooth Fairy?" jokingly referring to our dog who sleeps protectively with our son. He smirked. Quickly kissing him on the head and wishing him a great day at school, I cut short our conversation, prematurely departing to take a shower and plan my next move.
Tiptoeing into his bedroom upstairs, I spied the teeny tooth dutifully placed under his pillow. Remembering my spy tradecraft, I mused 'admit nothing, deny everything, make counteraccusations' as my last resort. Quickly retrieving a gold dollar from my 'Tooth Fairy' stash, pushing aside feelings of guilt that my son was eating alone downstairs at the breakfast table, I knew the ensuing 'Mission Impossible' was of paramount importance. As I sneaked back into his room hoping to find a perfectly acceptable location for the coin without arousing suspicion, I noticed his tooth pillow was nowhere to be found. Ah ha!! Just the deception tactic I needed, if only I could find it among the disheveled sheets and messy room. The cute tooth pillow we had sewn together had a perfect 'cavity' to hide a gold coin and my son had forgotten it. Tucked in the corner at the foot of his bed, I found the Fairy's typical dead drop location, its pillow cavity unfilled. Carefully placing the money inside, I placed the tooth pillow in a perfectly inconspicuous location. Amazed how often my CIA skillset has assisted me in the trenches of motherhood, I scurried to shower reflecting appreciation and hoping for the best.
As the steam awakened senses my morning coffee had little time to arouse, it occurred to me that I might want to hurry and catch my 10-year-old brushing his teeth to continue my line of questioning. Soaking wet, I threw on a towel, catching him just as he was about to head downstairs to bike to school. "So how much money did you get from the tooth fairy?" I further investigated, testing his demeanor for a glimmer of faith. "Nothing," he quickly responded. "How do you know? Where's the tooth? Have you looked everywhere?" counteraccusations abounded from my mouth in confidence and sheer determination with nothing to lose. Turning back to his room, he promptly showed me his tooth displayed under his pillow. "But where's your tooth pillow?" I questioned. Voila!! Immediately spying it at the foot of his bed, he proudly retrieved the gold coin with a smile on his face, promptly placing it in his piggy bank. I perceived his relief, confusion and acceptance wrapped up in one happy package. "Great, now you have more money for candy to rot your teeth!" I exclaimed in disgust, grateful to have averted potential tragedy.
I called my husband later this morning, humorously recounting the events that had transpired, relieved that I managed to salvage the youth left in my ten-year-old for another day. With older siblings and playground confessions, you never know how long fairy tale beliefs will last these days. My husband is an amazing father and luckily we make a great parenting team, but we all know nothing can ever happen to Mom, the keeper of schedules and clandestine secrets!
Sauntering into the kitchen after his three siblings had already departed for school, my ten-year-old asked me to guess what happened to him. Last night I attended a school meeting leaving my playful husband (a.k.a. my 5th child) tasked with the evening routine, which undoubtedly dissolved into WWE wrestling and horseplay among the boys past their normal bedtime hour. Out of sight, out of mind, is my mantra, thrilled to escape the chaos with purposeful return at least an hour past 'lights out'. Responding to my wise-guy son, my mind assumed the worst outcome and possible injury last night, however, I kept my guesses humorous. "You went to the moon?" I chuckled. He shook his head no. "You won the awesomeness contest at school?" I continued amidst his laughter and dabbing. "No mom, I lost my tooth," he said, pointing to the gaping hole in the bottom of his jaw. Dumbfounded my husband forgot to inform me of this significantly important detail, I clamored for the best response that would not raise skepticism, preserving the Tooth Fairy's operational security and lack of dead drop. I love motherhood, but apparently I cannot take a night off without pandemonium!
I always say my role as Mom is essential to my children and nothing can ever happen to me. Setting aside the lack of schedule and nutrition that would ensue if I up and ran away, my loving husband surely forgetting to feed the children anything but candy, childhood traditions would also cease to exist. It seems that yours truly is responsible for maintaining belief in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy!
"Wow, that's something!" I replied in shock. "Where's your tooth?" I probed, buying time to think. "Oh, it's under my pillow." Great, I thought, cursing my husband in my head, the fairy always gathers those cute little souvenirs. "Did Mayzie eat the Tooth Fairy?" jokingly referring to our dog who sleeps protectively with our son. He smirked. Quickly kissing him on the head and wishing him a great day at school, I cut short our conversation, prematurely departing to take a shower and plan my next move.
Tiptoeing into his bedroom upstairs, I spied the teeny tooth dutifully placed under his pillow. Remembering my spy tradecraft, I mused 'admit nothing, deny everything, make counteraccusations' as my last resort. Quickly retrieving a gold dollar from my 'Tooth Fairy' stash, pushing aside feelings of guilt that my son was eating alone downstairs at the breakfast table, I knew the ensuing 'Mission Impossible' was of paramount importance. As I sneaked back into his room hoping to find a perfectly acceptable location for the coin without arousing suspicion, I noticed his tooth pillow was nowhere to be found. Ah ha!! Just the deception tactic I needed, if only I could find it among the disheveled sheets and messy room. The cute tooth pillow we had sewn together had a perfect 'cavity' to hide a gold coin and my son had forgotten it. Tucked in the corner at the foot of his bed, I found the Fairy's typical dead drop location, its pillow cavity unfilled. Carefully placing the money inside, I placed the tooth pillow in a perfectly inconspicuous location. Amazed how often my CIA skillset has assisted me in the trenches of motherhood, I scurried to shower reflecting appreciation and hoping for the best.
As the steam awakened senses my morning coffee had little time to arouse, it occurred to me that I might want to hurry and catch my 10-year-old brushing his teeth to continue my line of questioning. Soaking wet, I threw on a towel, catching him just as he was about to head downstairs to bike to school. "So how much money did you get from the tooth fairy?" I further investigated, testing his demeanor for a glimmer of faith. "Nothing," he quickly responded. "How do you know? Where's the tooth? Have you looked everywhere?" counteraccusations abounded from my mouth in confidence and sheer determination with nothing to lose. Turning back to his room, he promptly showed me his tooth displayed under his pillow. "But where's your tooth pillow?" I questioned. Voila!! Immediately spying it at the foot of his bed, he proudly retrieved the gold coin with a smile on his face, promptly placing it in his piggy bank. I perceived his relief, confusion and acceptance wrapped up in one happy package. "Great, now you have more money for candy to rot your teeth!" I exclaimed in disgust, grateful to have averted potential tragedy.
I called my husband later this morning, humorously recounting the events that had transpired, relieved that I managed to salvage the youth left in my ten-year-old for another day. With older siblings and playground confessions, you never know how long fairy tale beliefs will last these days. My husband is an amazing father and luckily we make a great parenting team, but we all know nothing can ever happen to Mom, the keeper of schedules and clandestine secrets!
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