Whatever it Takes Today

When people ask me "What do you do?" I laugh and reply, "Whatever it takes!" From non-profit fundraising and career work, to volunteer service and parenting one day at a time, I simply do whatever it takes! This is especially true with regards to my writing, whether personal stories or letters to persuade legislators, I'm certainly not in it for fame or fortune. Writing is personally cathartic and while it's my hope to lift the spirit of others, my true passion resounds with my children and memorializing our experiences.

I cannot help but reflect on this passion today, April 20th, an important anniversary of the tragic Columbine shootings and other 4/20 'cultural' events, it also happens to be the date of my late father's birthday. My father would've been 71 today, had he lived longer than 47 years (a surreal number I'm fast approaching). It's hard for me to fathom experiencing only 20 years with my children, the short length of time I had with my father. Consequently, I live for involvement in my own children's lives, now trying to recollect memories and memorialize our family experiences in stories. Lest tomorrow change, I'm doing whatever it takes today, with no regrets!

In all honesty, my father's birthdate of April 20th resonates stronger with me than the anniversary of his death 24 years ago this August, an exact date I subconsciously forget. I have only letters of encouragement he wrote to me in college, stored high on a closet shelf, and some personal memories to cherish. I lack extensive family picture albums with my father, but you should see my children's photo albums consuming our bookshelves!

I'm grateful my dad knew my future husband when we dated. I smile recalling how he looked at my ring finger only to embarrass me, proclaiming it needed a ring in front of my boyfriend. Regrettably my dad died before my 21st birthday (and he had promised to buy me my first drink!), missing my wedding that year. I shed tears for his absence at the birth of grandchildren who share his name, and during celebrations, career and life accomplishments. My children will never know his good humor and playful spirit; he is known only to them in pictures. With the exception of life events that trigger a loving memory I rush to share with my children, my father's stories are as long gone as his family that proceeded him in death.

Today I supported my high school daughter's national school walkout for gun reform, my 2nd grader's field trip to the Franz bread bakery and Earth Day at the elementary school, all with my father's spirit in mind. I have a dozen children playing in front of my house this sunny Friday afternoon and their laughter is infectious. It would be a shame to miss out on all this fun! Despite my heavy heart, in my mind the personal importance of April 20th now takes a 'backseat' to the memories I need to experience with my four children. 

I am often reminded that you will be remembered by the impact you have on others. This is my passion and I aspire it to be positive. My father had a profound impact on me in a short amount of time. I hope to have a longer, lasting impact on my own children. With no regrets, I live my life for daily Forced Family Fun experiences (#FFF). I will do whatever it takes today, this time. I am sure my father is smiling with pride.