Parenting Gun Safety Beyond Imagination

I imagine 6^th grade back-to-school playground discussions on the foursquare court planning after school activities turned to guns. My 11-year-old son admitting to friends he’s not allowed to go to Graham's house because of your unlocked weapons. I imagine another boy, Solomon, claimed his mother felt the same way.

I imagine your son told you about Solomon and your ego took over. This would explain why my son burst through the door crying the second week of school. “Graham’s no longer allowed at our house mom because his dad is mad at you for telling Solomon’s mom they had guns!” 

Hell yes I told Solomon’s mom last June why my son couldn’t play at your house! I would never lie. 

I imagine Graham was bragging when he took all the boys into your bedroom with the unlocked weapons during his birthday party last year, my son later confessing the truth.

I’ve since learned to begin play dates with safety conversations about allergies, pets, guns…”Oh, and by the way, do you have any unlocked weapons in the home?” Asking saves lives.

I do not regret our conversation about gun safety after learning about your unlocked weapons. Saying nothing was hardly an option with our children’s lives at stake. Unfortunately your angry phone call to my husband triggered the turning point in our relationship, you felt judged in response. Parenting gun safety was never about you.

I imagine you planned Graham’s sleepover birthday party this Friday knowing that my son couldn’t come with unlocked weapons in your home. He wasn't invited. 

Solomon’s mom texted me last week, “I see Graham is having a sleepover party – Solomon won’t be allowed to go unless they’ve ditched their friggin guns…do you know?”

“You should ask them,” I texted in response. 

“Solomon isn’t going to go and I won’t let him,” his mother texted back.

“I hope you tell them why. Maybe you’ll find out they bought a gun safe. I hope reason prevailed on gun safety,” I texted back. Silence is ignorance. 

I imagine playground discussions in the past week where Solomon told Graham he couldn’t come to his birthday party. What else would describe your text to my husband?

“I just learned Solomon is not allowed to attend Graham’s b-day party because we own guns…congratulations to you and Kristen on gossip well executed!! I’m sure you are so proud…” you texted like a playground bully. A simple phone conversation would've cleared any misunderstanding.

Please stop sending your smug unfounded texts. You're an ass but I will not call you that. Your immature behavior is like an unlocked weapon ready to fire in the hands of a child. My son needs new friends.

“Thank you for telling the family why Solomon can’t go. They need to know it’s about gun safety,” I texted Solomon’s mom last night, shaking from your actions.

“I didn’t call them,” she texted back. “Graham’s dad emailed me out of the blue explaining they are all locked up – and all ammo is locked up separately. I never emailed him back.” I had no response. 

I imagine my husband and I are the only ones with ‘skin in the game’. 

Hallelujah! If there’s a silver lining in this shit storm of your behavior it’s safely locked weapons out of children’s reach. 

I shared the texts with my 11-year-old son this morning before playground banter could began. I will not shelter him from life. 

I cannot imagine what was going through his head, as I watched my son process the information, shoveling down a bowl of Crispix and bananas. We both miss the after school play dates at our house.

“Do you have anything to say?" I asked.

“Graham’s dad is not very mature,” my son replied. 

Thank you for the ammunition to share with my children. Truth is we’ve all learned a lesson in parenting gun safety. Asking matters.

Today I called you offering kindness and explanation, my son in mind. You lost control. You said you want nothing to do with my family and hung up. 

The truth revealed, no longer my imagination.