The Steamy Turd Rolls On - RV Life Day #5

We can kiss Walmart parking lot camping goodbye without a generator that hums. So much for the Instagram photo op of us sitting in camping chairs grilling hot dogs and drinking Budweiser! Nevertheless, the steamy turd rolls on...

Outdoorsy is a third-rate RV rental shop at best, spewing ‘fake news’ of a purported ‘trusted RV marketplace’ on its website. Tho’ I’ll be the first to admit Outdoorsy can be trusted to take your money! After waiting two hours to be connected to a member of their ‘customer support team’, I learned a few things. First, my 10-year-old is more knowledgable than an Outdoorsy customer service rep. Second, calling back is not an option. Customer service reps refuse to provide their direct contact phone number or corporate email address, so you are forced to wait on hold for hours on end unless your RV problems are solved. Third, Outdoorsy customer service reps suck at problem solving. For example, driving from Tahoe to Portland in the same day to return a broken RV is hardly feasible unless your RV has wings. Also, filing a dispute with the owner of the broken RV to recoup your payment while forking over thousands of dollars to continue on your ‘RV vacation’ with a replacement RV is another terrible option, unless you’re Donald Trump, but I digress, because even he would never end up in this shitty situation. I’m sure Outdoorsy responds to dispute filings as quickly as they pick up the phone.

Unfortunately the RV owner, ‘Ben Dover’ was not aware of the broken oil cap on his consequentially ‘seized up’ generator, nor was he willing to refund our payment for a new rental RV. To Ben Dover’s credit, he did provide an hour-long B-rated YouTube video on his RV and detailed instructions prior to departure, in addition, he allegedly called two dozen service stations in the Reno/Tahoe area for a replacement generator. It seems Covid-19 has shut everything down including generator shipping and manufacturing operations. I appreciate Ben Dover’s outside the box thinking, however, his solutions seemed right out of the Outdoorsy training manual. His proposal to strap a portable generator on our overloaded bike rack and carry gasoline cans was not a safe solution, nor was his offer of $500 reasonable for our inconvenience. “Ben, what would you do for your family in our situation?” I asked. 

Short of litigation, we found ourselves knee deep in a steamy pile of RV tank holdings. Our only options to stay put and dispute, risking hundreds of dollars on future campsite reservations while banking on Outdoorsy to respond, or a Ben Dover compromise to salvage our vacation, our family’s health and safety my primary concern. 

We ultimately decided to reroute our trip negotiating a ‘fair and balanced’ $800 Venmo payment from Mr. Dover. Rolling through Death Valley and Joshua Tree at a boiling 125 degrees with the windows down is not the ‘Extreme Forced Family Fun’ Fox News story we aspire to, and here’s a news flash, camping off the grid is not ‘lit’ to my kids.

Last night we celebrated survival with a Lake Tahoe picnic at sunset. My first time seeing Lake Tahoe! “Kids, on the bright side, you can be thankful your parents will never buy an RV!” I toasted cheers to resilience and cabernet in a thermos!

Recharged, we roll forward old school, windows open and wind blowing in the way back. Glamping with full-services, our only option with a broken generator. Outnumbered with four kids and two Schnoodles, there is a silver lining to this shitty story, resting comfortably in the air conditioned cab, there will be peace in the way back with charged devices connected to the ‘coveted’ parental hotspot (assuming WiFi).

Today we begin a new chapter in our #FFF RV extravaganza. Onward Yosemite!