Jedi Mind Tricks of Reptilian Proportions

I prefer to admire reptiles from afar, so scaly and cold-blooded, with unpredictable movements that give me the heebie-jeebies. I'd sooner have another baby than one more pet to remind my kids to feed, until now. It seems our 10-year-old son made us an offer we couldn't refuse like my husband on our Cancun vacation, and now I find us with one more mouth to feed and wondering how we got here!



It's key to put the question up front, or was that the answer? Regardless, he had my attention. Employing basic salesmanship 101 techniques, the kid hit us right between parenting guilt and Covid-19 pandemic. Though I'll admit I'm a sucker for a Google Docs presentation during 'summer brain drain' with more facts than the White House press secretary. 

Sure, my youngest son and his 15-year-old brother had tried before, from snakes to lizards. The answer was always Hell No. We had no time for that! 

Honestly, when you got down to brass tacks, the fourth child was vying for something of his own, always following in the shadow of his siblings. This time, with sheer Covid boredom on his side, it seemed the pros clearly outweighed the cons.



He had saved hundreds of dollars burning a hole in his quarantine pocket to be spent frivolously on sugar at the local market or online gaming if we didn't concede. Besides, facts prove a bearded dragon doesn't have to eat mealworms for treats and who could argue the inconvenience when Arlo was already on the hook during vacations? (Apparently he'd done that sort of thing before.)



The graphics were burning my retinas. Responsibility, something to work on in the eight years before college, was flashing like a neon light. 

"Don't worry, I can take him to college mom!" my son chimed in. 

It was as if he was using my thoughts and parental words against me in some sort of CIA/Jedi mind trick, layering the birth-order guilt on thick. Of course I didn't want him to just follow in his sibling's footsteps!


He had me at 'mom won't have to entertain me'. Was a bearded dragon a cheap fix to quarantine boredom on his own dime, saving us from both cavities and screen-time addiction? The dude set expectations upfront, did his research, pitched a solution to a problem, handled objections and then Bam, he closed with the hook. 


Few can resist the 'puppy dog close', which has a high rate of success among exhausted moms. Was the bearded dragon (bottom left) smiling? Shaking my head in disbelief, he was as cute as the Geiko gecko. A thank you at the end, like buttery frosting, an icing slathered thick for his mother, who barely gets a hello, let alone thank you these housebound days of Covid-19 online schooling and climate change induced wildfires polluting our air.

So here we are, four kids, two Schnoodles and a bearded dragon. Meet 'Joe Bearden' aka 'Michelle Obama' as I affectionately call them. Gender unassigned this young, I'll call they/them whatever the heck makes me smile! My son named them 'Willy'. Never in my wildest dreams did I picture this while I typed...


Or driving my son to buy roaches, crickets and mealworms, but there's nary an empty tummy in this mama's house and a lizard's got to eat! Who knew we'd be gut loading the roaches and crickets with veggies too?

This morning I had breakfast next to Willy at the table as he slurped up mealworms faster than my son his Honey Toasty O's. Thankfully I had finished my bagel before the crickets were dusted in calcium, picked up with tongs, and hoisted over my head wiggling their way to Willy's terrarium and lightning fast tongue. I suppose it's better than the rodents we'd have fed a snake! (I'm glad I listened because the Google presentation mentioned that too.) 

Willy may prove the best hands-on science project this school year, thanks to my 10-year-old, who's also learning to bank money for pet food. He reminds me there is goodness in hope and change.



Willy was born on the 4th of July and purchased by my son on September 11th, 2020. A patriot myself, Slick Willy has my vote, reminding me there is greatness in the year ahead and the best is yet to come!









Comments