Oscar Disappointment

Dear Will,

When I watched your Oscar acceptance speech, tears streaming down your face, I desperately wanted you to apologize for hitting Chris Rock. Instead, I sat stunned next to my 11-year-old son as you gave a selfish academy award performance justifying your superhero actions. 

I assume you were still transformed into playing the abrasive character Richard Williams, or perhaps you were avenging your father, who cold-cocked your mother. 

I imagine famed star and role-model are not titles you chose. They were assigned to you and carry a weighted burden of responsibility. Last night you showed us you are not superhuman and many of us shook our heads in disbelief. ‘The King’ is really just a man.

I wonder if Jada asked for family protection? I imagine she can hold her own. There’s no honor in your actions.

When my father broke a yard stick across my back chasing me up the stairs in a drunken rage, I swore I’d never forgive him as I packed my belongings and moved in with a neighbor. Assault is never a ‘vessel of love’. As a 16-year-old girl, I learned that humility, empathy and forgiveness are acts of love. I’ll never forget my father’s tear stained cheeks as he begged my forgiveness after I agreed to meet him for dinner. He emerged from that Chinese buffet sober for the rest of his short 47 years. I still admire his courage and humility.

You are larger than life, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Today my children watched social media clips of you strutting on stage to defend your wife’s honor. Who am I, a mother of mortal proportions, to demand my teenagers use their words instead of fists of anger to settle disagreements?

You're worthy of an Oscar for many performances, but not last night. You stunned, you stole the show, but that is not how we do it in my family. My children will learn better.