Adventures In Motherhood

 All I know is the tan suede moccasins were here one day and gone the next. That's really all I can say...  My husband Bruce adored his worn-in moccasins purchased in Vancouver, Canada on a Forced Family Fun (FFF) trip several years ago. He imagined they were stitched together by an indigenous tribe, later to be sold in that souvenir shop where we also bought a deck of Canadian playing cards. Those moccasins were so worn-in that the leather shoe laces had broken and the knots my husband made to tie them tight were barely hanging on, so on his birthday, the year prior to their disappearance, I took the beloved soles, along with the baseball catcher's mitt, to a professional baseball glove restringer.  That was back before Covid and the pandemic kept all six of us confined to our home. Back when FFF meant a rare family movie night and before I lost my marbles to four kids online schooling. Back before perimenopause and parenting four teenage children made me cray-cray. Back...

I thought I'd done everything to protect my kids during the pandemic, from quarantine, to vaccinations and face masks, until Santa came to town. Apparently he wanted to offer vaccinated children who were dating an additional barrier against infection this year!  It was 7 am on the nose Christmas morning and the kids were throwing Schnoodles on us in bed. Like the rousing cup of coffee every parent needs, it was pitch black outside and I could hardly believe it was morning. Grabbing our robes, we hustled downstairs before we missed the destruction of stockings and gift wrappings. Regardless of age, our children were equally excited by the Pez dispensers, Lifesavers and foil wrapped Santas in their stockings, and eager to find out which Schnoodle earned a lump of coal for puking on the carpet or stealing someone's dinner off the table. Board games were to be expected, as Santa enjoys 'Forced Family Fun' as much as we do as parents, despite the teens; but it was the last b...