Adventures In Motherhood

Have you seen the #MeToo hashtag on your social media feed?  I struggle with those two simple words on social media as a platform to stand against sexual harassment and affect change.  As a modest woman, I shy away from sharing my personal stories of sexual harassment and wonder if this movement, like the gun control movement following a mass shooting, will quickly dissipate with the next news story.  #MeToo is not sufficient explanation for the pain and suffering endured by victims, and unfettered access to growing internet pornography and social media exploitation are largely to blame.  Personally I choose to take a stand for those who are finding their voice. I fear all women have been sexually harassed at some point in their lives and we all have many stories to tell.  My 13-year-old daughter was sexually harassed in eighth grade following our relocation last year.  Transitioning as a teenager to a new school in your last year of middle school is diff...

I have always been a proponent of language in our house.  "Use your words," I constantly remind the children, "and stop pounding your brother!"  My daughter learned 'wild words' in 5th grade; multi-syllabic challenges to our vocabulary, like 'perseverance', we implemented at dinnertime.  Foreign languages expand brain development, so I've shared smatterings with my children over the years and successfully advocated for a Spanish and after-school French class at our school.  My tolerance for profanity, however, in a house full of children, is zilch.  As such,  I swear by the 'Sriracha Effect'! I always knew my children would learn more than George Carlin's 'Seven Dirty Words' on the playground.   Over the years I've cautioned my children, "Use swear words at school and I'll know!"  Initially, they figured it was because of my CIA training and skill in lie detection and surveillance, however, I reminde...

Drastic behaviors call for drastic measures and my children's reactions ranged from "Oh no, you didn't!" to "What does this mean?” as they stared dumbfounded at the sign posted on our refrigerator.  Observing the sheer chaos I had caused, I relished the pleasure of liberation.  While I have fantasized about posting a sign 'Mom's left for the Pacific Crest Trail', or 'Mom's on an Eat, Pray, Love International Adventure', carrying nothing more than a backpack and none of the worries that accompany parenthood, that was not the sign I posted that day.  Who hasn't dreamt of escape?  That Monday, I did the next best thing; I closed the kitchen, and experienced relief and validation.   I look forward to the 2-3 times per week that we can sit down as a family and enjoy a delicious meal I have thoughtfully prepared.  The other nights we are lucky to have a sandwich in the car as we race off to children's sports activities.  I affecti...

'Bothers' is what she calls them.  My daughter has not one, but three adorable brothers, through no fault of her own.  They were agreeable to her, until they stopped agreeing to listen.  As an older sister with one 'bother' of my own, I suffered the same fate, albeit technically less illicit! As a teenager, privacy is paramount. Personal belongings are not to be touched and brothers should never embarrass their sisters.  To my teen daughter, brothers are merely potential protectors or suitable for their cuteness factor, posted by mom on Instagram.  Beyond that, they exist as bothers! Shock and awe are my daughter's conflicting feelings living with her 'bothers' on a daily basis. (We as parents of a teenage girl are astutely aware of this seismic shift amplified in our home.)  My 7-year-old relishes in his sister's attention the most and unfortunately 'shock and awe' seem to be his middle names.  My daughter recently reacted to this social med...

It's easy for our children to be involuntarily subjected to a world full of hate nowadays.  Impatient drivers flip 'the bird' and yell obscenities at me as they dangerously zoom past my carload of children.  A gridlocked lady sarcastically claps from the safety of her vehicle as my friend kindheartedly moves a garbage can blocking traffic, in plain view of her puzzled daughter.  Protests and counter-protests in anger block our streets as my family bikes downtown.  The 24-hour sensational news is not easily consumable by children.  Sometimes I cannot help but visualize pink slime boiling in our sewers fueled by hatred and anger akin to New York City in Ghostbusters II! As a mother with clandestine experience, I recently reached my internal boiling point and decided to make it our charge to spread love throughout the day, albeit in disguise.  Boys, I smiled, "I mustache you to spread some love today!"  My son and his buddy enthusiastically accepted t...

Forced Family Fun (FFF) defined is a family adventure wherein all parties 'unplug' and experience conversation and bonding together in a setting atypical of everyday life.  FFF at times may be 'forced', especially if at the parents' suggestion, however, there is immediate buy-in from children who quickly realize the fun involved and take part in the planning of future adventures! As parents of four children, it became apparent early on that a close family unit was needed with competing technological and social forces vying for our kids' attention; television, cell phones, online gaming, social media, etc.  Much to our children's dismay, we coined the phrase 'Forced Family Fun' and enacted it with a passion. You may ask how parents can ever succeed in suggesting Force Family Fun while gaining kid's buy-in?  To this I would argue, why make it an option?  Rather, try your first outing and then brainstorm additional activities as a family, t...

"We are the only kids that don't have smartphones at school!” insist my four children.  Even my 2nd grade son has children in his class with the latest and greatest smartphones.  I recall this conversation from my own childhood and it somehow revolved around getting a corded telephone for my bedroom.  New technology, even greater challenges... Having moved halfway across the country at the start of my daughter's 8th grade year in middle school, we were keenly aware of her need to build social relationships a.s.a.p.  When our daughter named every known child her age with a smart phone, we quickly realized that she was quite possibly the only 8th grade student in Oregon and Colorado without a smartphone.  Having experienced traumatic family moves during my formative teen years, my daughter knew I was an easy sell, and my three younger sons began their campaign as well.  Fortunately as parents, we have Bill Gates on our side.  How can children argue ...