Adventures In Motherhood

'Smile and Wave', my premise from a previous article ' I Mustache You To Spread Love ' backfired on me last month. I admit this less than stellar parenting moment with a carload of children was a lesson learned by all. This past fall, a white utility van following behind us scared the bejesus out of me by loudly honking as I made a right-hand turn. Of course I was safely carpooling children to a school event and dumbfounded by the reason for blowing his horn. All five children were surprised when the rude driver of the utility van encountered us at a four-way stop just a few blocks down the road. "He must know us" I laughed, proceeding to smile and wave at the driver and his passenger, proudly proving to the children that, rather than responding in kind to their middle finger wave, I would take the upper road! In hindsight, this was not the most mature shenanigan on my part, as an adult responsible for five children in my minivan. No sooner did I arrive at...

Having worked undercover for the CIA prior to starting a family, my colleagues and I would often banter about times we were confronted regarding our true careers, jokingly professing to admit nothing, deny everything and make counter accusations, rather than risk exposure. Despite knowing my professional background, my children lack the ability to discern my modus operandi when I admit nothing, deny everything and make counter accusations. While honestly not my parenting style, I must confess that a few clandestine tricks of the trade have come in handy as a mother, especially when it comes to Santa Claus. I distinctly remember sitting on a bench at the North Pole amusement park in Colorado when my daughter, eight years old, asked me if Santa Claus was real. She proceeded to inform me that the secret was revealed on the playground and she no longer believed. For years I dreaded this conversation so much that I found myself ill prepared to answer. After all, we had gone to the North P...